Disney Movies Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Men

I was raised watching Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Lady & The Tramp, etc etc. Most of us were, right? I grew up on these cute movies with happily ever after endings. I have a lot of friends looking for the perfect prince charming to sweep them off their feet, and the idea always makes me uneasy because that just doesn't exist. I love Parker more than anything, but he drives me absolutely nuts sometimes, and vice versa. Disclaimer: we came up with this post idea together. This may seem like a "dog on your husband" kind of post, but he came up with a lot of the ideas. So without further ado, this is why Disney movies gave me unrealistic expectations about men:

1. They will always give you the last bite of food. Thanks, Lady & The Tramp, for that lie. Not only will you likely be in charge of feeding your man, but note that he will also eat all of the food. All of it. Then he will expect you to go to the grocery store to get more. Sorry girls, he won't always give you the last meatball.

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2. When you get married, every night is a romantic date night! Every night you will dance barefoot around the living room to your favorite song, then you'll watch The Notebook, then you'll fall asleep in his arms on the couch. Awww, how cute! Now get that idea out of your head right now. Instead of this...

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You'll get this...

Boys love video games for reasons us girls can't understand. We can't change it. We just have to accept it. For some guys, it's not video games. It can be an obsession with sports, muscle cars, you name it. He's going to have a hobby you don't understand. I'm not really sure which movie planted the lie in our heads that every moment is a romantic one, but I'm inclined to blame Cinderella.

3. Your husband will never fart around you, and if by some chance he accidentally does, he will apologize profusely and show sincere remorse for his bodily actions. Ah, the. biggest. lie. of. them. all. Men are a gassy species. Thankfully my Dad was pretty crude growing up with the farting and pull my finger and all that stuff, so it wasn't too big of a shock when Parker started pulling the same antics. We will be watching a movie, he'll pass gas, and then he'll try to waft it in my direction to make sure I appreciate how smelly it is. Seriously girls, this is real life. Some men may be cruder than others with it, but you will be offended daily by their smells, and you will rarely receive an apology for subjecting you to such horror. I ask Parker all the time how something so foul could come out of something so precious, and I may never know. The guy on the left never seems to fart. The guy on the right sure does.

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So there you have it ladies. This post was meant to be funny, and Parker and I sure got a kick out of ourselves when we were writing it, but there really is some truth to it. If you're in the market, stop looking for the prefect guy. He doesn't exist, but there is a guy out there that is perfect for you. Something else to remember, just like they aren't Disney princes, we're no Disney princesses either. We have habits just as annoying as theirs (well, at least they think so). I get frustrated with Parker for something as silly as having the TV too loud. I'm pretty sure Cinderella would just let that go. I hope this has helped to debunk the lies that Walt Disney so willingly planted into our hopelessly romantic heads. Cheers!