This blog post has been on my mind the past few days. Lately, I feel like the name of the game is to compare ourselves to others. I don't necessarily see a trend in comparing ourselves to the less fortunate, but more so comparing ourselves to those we deem more fortunate than us. Here's the thing:
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Terrible example, but let's go with this: I was watching Bachelor in Paradise on Monday (judge away, friends). Three girls went on dates. All three girls thought they had a good time, until two of the girls started going into the details of what happened on their dates. The third girl then felt her date was inadequate, got sad, and broke up with the guy. She compared herself to the other girls and decided she had a bad date. I know, terrible example, but you get it, right?
I think some people look at Parker and me and think we have the perfect life. A few of our friends in college thought we had the perfect relationship and never fought. Some of our friends now think that, and I think it probably looks that way on this blog too. I'm not here to highlight the negatives, but nobody really knows the real story because a marriage is between two people, not the world. Yes, we have a pretty awesome relationship, and he is my greatest blessing in life and I am his, but that doesn't mean we don't fight. That doesn't mean we don't disagree on the stupidest things and blow it out of proportion. That doesn't mean we don't enjoy doing things on our own from time to time. I would really hate for someone to compare their relationship to ours because they have no idea how our relationship works: they aren't in it.
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We are all on different timelines in this life. Some of us get married when we are 20. Others get married when they're 35. Some never get married. The same goes with having kids. Instead of wishing we were given someone else's time table in life, we need to find the positives and blessings in the journey God has laid out for us. I know I have envied those who are able to buy a house and settle down, because that's not in the cards for us for a long time. But you know what? We get to see the world. We get to make memories in many different homes. There are positives in our journey just like their are positives for those who get to settle down sooner in life.
So friends, stop comparing. It brings out an unhappiness that we can eliminate if only we look for the blessings. And yall, there are so so many blessings.
22 comments :
First, I love this photo of you and Parker. Second, I shamelessly admit to watching ALL the Bachelor franchise shows. I was so upset that Sarah and Robert's relationship didn't work out!!! I thought it was the perfect example on how to get your point across for this blog post!
I love this post so much. It is really easy to get caught up in comparing... but really, everyone's life is unique.
So much wisdom at such an early age! Your faith shines through in all you do, dear granddaughter. We love you.
I think we all need to be reminded of this sometimes, or maybe that's just me. But this is great!
Love this! So very true!
OMG haha I love you because I watch BIP and I LOVED Sarah and Robert and was so happy for them. She said she had a great time. Then all of sudden she didn't? I feel what happened to Sarah happens to many others. They don't look at things from all angles. Of COURSE Lacy and Marcus had a better date; they're freaking in love! And Cody and Michelle had a good date becaues Cody is, in my opinion, a little too strong and loving so of course when someone showers you with that much love, it's a good date. Not to mention, their date was much more physical. She said they had sex every place imaginable in that room. So yeah.....
I think Sarah jumped the gun. She initially thought she had a good date, then as you said, compared it to others and suddenly broke up with him. And he was so upset. He was GENTLEMAN by not just getting naked in that bed and trying to make a move. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I liked that about him!!!
I learned this lesson the hard way back in college and changing that view has made the world of difference for me!!
Yup, comparing can be soooo dangerous! Great post. I want BIP too, no worries! :)
~Ashley @ A Cute Angle
acutelifestyle.blogspot.com
I love this post. We need to keep our eyes on our page. I'm not here to blog all the negatives about my husband, our problems, or fights. It's really none of their business.
one of my favorite quotes - and favorite posts from you.
you're real, honest, and true... comparison is most definitely the thief of joy...and i am guilty of it.
thank you for sharing your heart with us and spurring us on to be better! <3
That's a great point. I am glad you put this into perspective for your readers :)
I have a post in my drafts right now with that same quote! I don't even really know what Bachelor in Paradise is, but I totally get your example! I don't tend to compare my relationship, but I definitely catch myself doing it in other areas of life.
I love this post! I'm working really hard to not compare myself to others who are in different stages of life. I have a freedom to do pretty much whatever I want because my decisions only affect me at this stage in my life.
Comparison is a thief of joy. That's for sure. I remember looking at a good friend's Facebook page and jealous of her and her husband's relationship. Later to find out that they were on the brink of divorce and she being pregnant! But thank the Lord, He brought them back together and they have a beautiful baby girl who is my God daughter. My dad told me before and after I got married, not to compare my relationship with my husband to other's relationships. I'm learning that that's a great idea and when people idealize our marriage, I let them know we are flawed humans too in a way I hope that still honors my marriage. Great post Chelsea!
This is great advice Chelsea!! The temptation to compare is so great- and falls into so many areas of our lives... love that you shared this!!!
:) Rebecca
I love everything about this post. Everything you said is 100% true.
Great post!!! And it's so true! I would see pictures of girls that I went to school with and their huge houses, perfect jobs or extravagant weddings and make myself miserable about it. It took me a while to realize what I was doing but once I did and I stopped comparing I was much happier. My life isn't perfect but it's perfect for me.
Thank you for this! I truly needed to hear it today. By the way, I miss you. I totaled my car last week and had to go to... You guessed it, Enterprise! I would not have made it through that VERY difficult time in my life (that job) had it not been for you. You'll always hold a special place in my heart. Love you dearie.
I think the "no comparing" rule has always come very naturally to me, and I'm grateful for that! I've long been convinced that though I may have a few problems of my own, I'd much rather deal with my own problems than with anyone else's!
we were talking about women comparing and competing against each other today, we need to stop doing that and uplift and encourage other women
I love this post! You are so right. And once you have kids the mothering comparing starts. Ugh!
I love, love, love this post! You are so right. That is the thing about blogging, rarely (for the most part) do we share the downs in our relationship. After all, that sort of thing is meant to stay between those in the relationship not blasted on the internet.
You are so right. We need to lay down our judgy and comparison eyes and be thankful for the things that are right in front of us. We may be missing blessings that we have with our time spent wishing it was something else. Also I watch all the Bachelor shows...amazingly ridiculous!
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