I've tried to take a page out of my husband's book and be an optimist in life. I do think I'm a fairly positive person, but Parker has the positive outlook thing down. I've always called myself a realist. If we are being honest, this is what we pessimists call ourselves to make us feel better.
It's Saturday afternoon as I type this, and my husband has been gone on a boat for a week. He was supposed to be back yesterday, and then it got bumped to today. Well, now it's going to be tomorrow. It's really not the end of the world and won't even be a blimp on the radar in a few months, but it's disappointing in the moment. He is ready to come home, and I'm ready for him to be home.
It's frustrating when you are looking forward to something and find out it isn't going to pan out. It's so easy for me to sit here and sulk, but honestly, I am sitting here and realizing all of the positives we got from this situation. Okay, there really are no positives about him being home a day later, but there are little blessings if we stop and think about it.
- He was able to call me from the ship's phone and tell me he wouldn't be coming home. I got to hear his voice for 5 minutes, and now I don't have to worry when he doesn't come home today. Silver lining.
- I answered my phone when he called. He called from a random number, and I almost always screen calls from random numbers. I decided to answer this one, and I am so glad I did. Silver lining.
- We went in thinking there would be zero communication for the week. He was able to email from a shared email account once a day, so I always got to wake up to a note from him. This was such a welcomed surprise, and it made my day every morning. Silver lining.
- I'm not alone. I'm sitting here with two furballs who just want to hang out with me. They just want to love me and to be loved. They have been the best companions this week. Silver lining.
- Parker leaving means I got to spend extra time with my girlfriends this week. My friend's husband was also on the boat with Parker, so we entertained each other and had a couple of good girls nights. Silver lining.
- I am disappointed because all I want to do is see and hug my husband. I love him so much that I just want him home already. I hate missing him, but I am so lucky to have him to miss. Silver lining.
Honestly, I feel a little silly even posting this. I mean really, Parker was gone for a week. That's nothing. I have friends whose husbands are gone for the next 9 months. There is no rule on missing your husband, but let's put it into perspective. I have nothing to complain about. Someone else has it way, way worse than I do.
My point in writing this is that there are silver linings in all situations. We have two choices: we can throw ourselves a pity party, or we can find the silver linings and thank God that there are, in fact, silver linings. There are positives in every situation... we just have to be willing to see them.
19 comments :
One week or nine months....its always hard being away from them!! Good for you for thinking of the positives! Hope you have a some great girl time!
I try to be optimistic but sometimes it's hard to not throw yourself a little pity party at least for 20 minutes.
Aww, it's definitely okay to miss your husband when he's gone! It is nice that he was able to call and let you know too. I'm a big worrier so I would have been getting more and more nervous. I would be disappointed too, but not too much longer!! And yay for girl time!!
It's okay to miss your hubby. My husband works out of country or out of state at times. The last job was in Budapest from Jan. until Aug. It was hard but God is good and is faithful.
Thanks for sharing.
It doesn't matter how long they are gone, it is okay to miss them. :)
Mac is on his second year long tour. Having been through deployments makes you appreciate the time spent together. I miss him when he has an overnight duty or goes to the field for a week.
It doesn't matter how long it is - it's HARD to be apart from your best friend! I felt silly missing Ryan for 5, then 7 weeks...but hey, we all miss the ones we love :)
Girl, you have EVERY RIGHT to be disappointed that you wouldn't be seeing him when planned. It just shows how much you love and miss him! But I'm so glad you were able to find so many silver linings in this particular situation. I hope you enjoy having him home!
Brianna
xobriannaleigh.com
You're so right about us pessimists calling ourselves "realists."
When Nick was gone at SERE, I missed him but I looked at the all positives..diagonal sleeping, less laundry, no snoring, girly shows, more girls nights, etc. I definitely agree that there is always a silver lining!
I love this, and you are so right! There's always something positive to be found! Sometimes you have to dig deep, but it's there. I also agree that you can't really compare "problems"... just because your husband is only gone for a week and someone else's may be gone for a year doesn't mean you don't miss him or you shouldn't feel justified to. He's your husband, and he's away. Of course you miss him! I'm not a fan of when people do the whole, "but my problem is worse because ______" thing, so I completely get you!
Missing someone is hard no matter how long they're gone but good for you for looking at the silver lining. You could have also watched the Silver Lining's Playbook because we all know much you're obsessed with J. Law hahhaa.
Alsooooo, you forgot to mention that you got to FaceTime with me for like two hours! Ahem, silver lining! I kid, I kid but seriously it made my day.
Hope Parker is safe at home and you guys are enjoying being back to the four of you! :)
After going through several underways and a deployment, you go ahead and say what's on your mind, when your husband is gone. It helps us deal with it and after do write/talk about it, we generally feel better. Everyone's situation is different and one thing I've learned from it is that you never want anyone to take that moment from you.
Being apart from loved ones no matter how long or short, it's not always easy, but we're always strong and we get through it.
Plus it just makes the reunion much more sweeter! :)
I'm really glad you posted this! It's so important to look at the silver lining. There are almost always them, even if you don't realize it. So it's really helpful to see your thought process in that. I may have a really awful health situation, but I have insurance through my dad and I have access to some of the best hospitals in the country. But I hope Parker is back by now for you!
Kate
I love this post. I have struggled with being the pessimistic lately. I need to realize the silver lining in it all.
I know exactly how you feel, girl. My husband has been gone for a while, too, and looking forward to hearing his voice again. Thank goodness for emails, silver lining.
-Kelly
Love & Aloha (formerly Honor, Courage, Commitment)
I am a complete pessimist. I wish I wasn't! Also, don't feel bad for missing your husband and talking about it, even if he's only been gone a week. I miss mine after a single day. We just love them! There's no harm in that. =]
Don't feel bad about missing your husband for "just" a week. Any time away is hard. I still miss Tom when he is at the range for a day. You are right that it means that you have something special to miss and that is a blessing!
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