One Dream For Another

Very few people grow up dreaming of being a military spouse. On paper, the concept of marrying someone who is going to do something dangerous on a daily basis and leave for months at a time sounds less than appealing. I'm always the first to say that this is not the lifestyle I had picked out for myself. I wanted to be married with kids and the whole enchilada, but the military aspect of that never quite made its way onto my dream board. 

I think one of the biggest preconceived notions about being a military spouse is that you will have to give up your dreams. Whether it be career, location, or lifestyle, the military will now dictate it all, and the planning and dreaming you've been doing is wiped clean. While that's an extreme way of putting it, I'm not here to argue with this. You very well will have to give up a dream.

In the back of my mind, I always thought going to law school would have been really neat. Would I have actually done it? I'm not sure, but there is a chance I would have tried had Parker not been in the picture. That would have been a neat dream, but I quickly withdrew it from the running when I decided to marry Parker. 

I also always wanted to get married, settle down in the motherland (Texas), and have kids young. "Young" is a very relative term here, but I loved the idea of being married for a couple of years and then having kids. I wanted to be between 24 and 26 when we had our first. Being a mom has always been the ultimate dream in my mind, and while the military isn't stopping that dream, it sure as heck is dictating the timeline. There is no way we would still be waiting if it weren't for extenuating circumstances due to the military. 

No matter what your situation looks like, if you're a military spouse, you've had to sacrifice something. Heck, if you're a spouse, you've had to sacrifice something. That's just married life, plain and simple. But do you know what? You've also gained something really beautiful. This lifestyle isn't always easy and is certainly not for everyone, but it can be so, so awesome. Traveling the world, meeting new people, experiencing new things... it's all a dream.

If you're a newlywed military spouse or even just dating someone in the military, my point in all of this rambling is this: Don't be scared by what you have to give up. Be excited for what you are gaining. In marrying my husband, I traded one dream for another, and I wouldn't have it any other way.