#GirlLogic
In my mind, deployment meant separation. How can he be excited to be separated for months on end? Does he not love me as much as I love him? Who actually wants to leave their wife???
These were the thoughts that ran through my brain every time I heard my husband mention wanting to deploy. These are natural thoughts, and I highly doubt I'm the first one to think them. Deployment is a scary, scary thing, and nobody gets married just to say "see you later" to their husband for the better part of a year.
It took standing beside Parker in training and watching him take pride in his accomplishments to understand what "I can't wait to deploy" really means. It doesn't mean "I hate my wife". In fact, it has absolutely nothing to do with me. He has been training for over 4 years for this moment. Countless hours of studying, practicing in the simulator, and flying will pay off when he finally gets to serve his country the way that he wants to. His dream wasn't just to join the military. It was to serve his country. And serving his country means going on deployment.
Having this revelation has been such a game changer for our marriage. I actually love that my husband can't wait to deploy. It makes my heart swell with pride and makes it just a little bit easier to say that "see you later". It's a lot harder to send a husband off to serve our country when he really doesn't want to go. When the day does come for me to send him off to deployment, I am so glad I will be sending someone away who is excited to serve. It's going to make it so much easier on both of us.
A lot of the pilots in Parker's squadron share his enthusiasm for deployment, and I love that. There have been one or two that look at him funny and say "Why would you be excited? You want to leave your wife?". This perspective makes me so sad, because of course he doesn't want to leave me. Of course he is going to miss me. Of course he loves me just as much as I love him.
My point is this: wanting to serve your country and loving your wife are not mutually exclusive.
If you are having a hard time with the concept of deployment and don't understand how your husband could be excited to go, I get it. Trust me, I was there not too long ago. I would encourage you to think about it more. When you do, you'll hopefully come to realize that excitement to serve is the best attitude either of you could hope for.
I agree with this 100%. It is is definitely okay if your spouse is excited about deployment. Kyle was so excited about both of is and he was extremely disappointed when his last one was canceled. It's amazing how dedicated they are to what they do.
ReplyDeleteI love this post! Andy just told me rumors of their next deployment (supposedly if the rumors are true, he'd be gone before our first anniversary.) Knowing how much he loves his job and wants to do what he is trained to do makes it easier for me. Although I definitely ugly-cried when he told me about the rumors and I know he felt horrible about making me cry!
ReplyDeleteIt's really great you look at it as the glass is half full. I mean, it's his passion and he's trained so hard for this specific thing. It does suck you have to be apart tho. Has there ever been a time when you've asked him to be a little less excited around you because you feelings were hurting?
ReplyDeleteAshley
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I know the show Army Wives is far from realistic but I do remember one thing that always stuck with me was when Trevor was mad that he got held back from Deployment (injury) and Roxy didn't under why. The other wives told her it was nothing to do with her, he is a Soldier and that is what they are trained to do. Great post :)
ReplyDeleteExactly! Service members like my sister spend all of their time training until they deploy. Deployments are when she really gets to truly do her job. My husband is a crew chief so his job is generally the same whether he's deployed or not. But I know he's proud whenever his jets are a part of real world events.
ReplyDeleteSo spot on. So needed to read/hear this today.
ReplyDeleteI love this perspective! The first time Dane deployed he was really excited and I couldn't help but feel a little bit bummed out. The second time I think we were both just annoyed, LOL!
ReplyDeleteThis is such good advice! I had the same problem when Chris has deployed in the past. I think he was more excited to go the first, time and less the second time (because he knew how hard it is, and how much the desert sucks) but I totally took it personally at first. But I had to come to terms with how it really has to do with how much he loves his job... and that's a GOOD thing! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with this 100%! While we haven't faced a deployment yet (and won't for at least a couple more years), I know that all the work he is putting into training now is for a purpose... and he WANTS to fulfill that purpose! It took me a while to see it that way, though.
ReplyDeleteYES YES YES. I totally understand this and I'm excited *for* him because it's when he'll get the chance to do exactly what is most important to him career-wise! I'm going to miss him, but we both have professional ambitions and I see my business trips the same way!
ReplyDelete100% agreed. While I may not have gotten it, that is what our hubbies signed on to do. Tom always told me he didn't not sign on to stay state side and always be in training. He joined so he could make a difference for our country. And honestly the more I thought about it, the more grateful that I was that he was passionate about it. I think that the fact he could pour so much energy into made it easier for him to stay safe.
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